What is that one thing which is important yet easily taken for granted by most of us – most of the times. I believe it is our relationships – our personal, social and professional relationships. We all have career plans, business plans, fitness plans, investment plans, holiday plans, retirement plans and so on. Do we ever have a relationship plan?
On the eve of Valentine’s Day, I had an opportunity to interact with Neelima Sharma, a personal growth and relationship coach. The conversation had some insights which I wanted to put forward in form of the blog.
At times life has been generous to bestow us with enough but we still are not happy. A steady job, a growing career, engaging peer groups, friends – we kind of have it all. Yet, we are not happy, fulfilled. At times we are aware and at times it is a feeling that is an undercurrent. We are not completely aware as to where do we feel the lack and that gives the feeling of being stuck. According to Neelima, it makes a lot of sense here to identify who we are, the values that define us, what is our identity, our strengths that we can display and weakness that we can work upon. This gives us the basic clarity on the road ahead.
FIND THE MISSING PIECE
Or get the coach to curate the missing piece for you. Unless we identify what is missing, there is no moving forward. The fabric of life is weaved with many different aspects and they are all interrelated. Neelima says, not working on our relationships might just have a domino effect that will affect many areas of our life.
COMMON RELATION ISSUES
Neelima was quick to tell that lack of communication is one major cause for any kind of issue in a relationship. This leads to a lack of reliability, they do not feel valued, creates confusion, lack of dependability. Eventually one starts doubting the relationship and self as well. They feel ignored. The complexity of the modern world with changed parameters demands constant communication.
PANDEMIC AND RELATIONSHIPS
For a whole lot of people who had lost the essence of relationships in the mundane were able to find it back with the extra time and work from home luxuries. No malls, no cinemas, no going out gave this golden opportunity to many who wanted to rekindle their relations. Grandparents, according to Neelima have now started taking an active interest in managing home after seeing the work-pressure and overall stress of their children and/or grandchildren. Compassion, respect and empathy are what some of us have taken from the pandemic experience.
ATTRIBUTES OF A RELATIONSHIP COACH
Neelima suggests having testing before we go and finalize a relationship coach. An initial conversation or a free trial session should be the deciding factor whether would this be the right coach for me. While in the conversation first thing to mark is the coach should be non-judgmental.
Look for a coach who does not give you answers but pushes you to find your own answers. Check if you have that complete trust and can open up totally to this coach. Go out and hire a coach who makes you think. Neelima caught my attention when she said she would ask her clients if they are ready to take thorns because coaching on relationships is not a rose bed. Are they ready to face the mess while they really go deep inside and clear the gunk?
TIPS ON HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
Some easy yet powerful tips from Neelima
– Keep communication going
– Be empathic
– Watch the tone and words
– Own your space and give space
– Stop judging
– Convey your likes – dislike
IMAGE MANAGEMENT AND RELATIONSHIPS
Self-Image is pivotal to any kind of relationship. Do I like myself or not, influences all that we do and our confidence and eventually relations. Relationship too like first impressions is perceptions, said Neelima. We may take years only to discover that the relationship was not what it sounded. Having a better self-image strengthens relations.
To conclude, Neelima said: LOVE YOURSELF. If you don’t like yourself, you can’t like others. On similar lines, we at Mega Image Consulting have rolled out a pledge, an Image Pledge on Valentine’s Day. Let us all out of the love and respect for ourselves take the pledge: “Dress the way you want to be Addressed”